Board: Behavior

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Topic: biting

 

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brendy1270 05/12/2008 at 8:20 PM
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 Hi ,

my 21 month old bites me all the time lately . He seems to think it is fun or exciting to watch the reaction I am going  to giv . He does it after we are having fun ,perhaps it's after he is so excited . I think he thinks it's like giving affection . I try to do a time out ... but nothing seems to discourage him . I am not going to bite him back no matter what ! I often get that advice believe it or not . I am aware that he enjoys any reaction I am giving him ... anyone have an idea about how to deal ... or how to give a time out to a 21 month old ... 


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mommyadventureclub 05/19/2008 at 2:11 AM
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My son is the same age (birthday Aug6), and he does similar things.  He is not a biter, but he loves to scratch and grab at you when he wants to roughhouse.  What works for us when he starts getting crazy physical like this is grab him in a bear hug and wrestle him. 

I think an important point you made is that you think he's doing it to play.  If he wants to play in a physical way like this, my advice would be to ignore the "biting", maybe just say 'ow', then tell him what you want him to do.  "Do you want to play rough? Pull mommy's shirt...jump on my back...squeeze me tight, etc etc "  I have an older daughter who also did this at this age-it's not just a "boy" thing...

If he's doing it to be mean and hurt you, you first need to find out why.  If he is being disobedient/breaking a rule, then yes, a time out is fine.  If he is doing it because he is frustrated and can't talk, you need to show him how to deal with his anger.  "Your angry, but biting hurts, let's stomp on the floor and yell instead".

I LOVE the book by Harvey Karp, Happiest Toddler, who has great suggestions for talking so toddlers will "get it"0they're silly, but TOTALLY worked for me.

Good luck!

Carrie


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GnuMom 06/16/2008 at 5:50 PM
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My  22-month-old sometimes bites to play or when she wants a toy from another child and doesn't know how to communicate that.  We read a book called "Teeth are not for Biting".  We make her say she's sorry, and if she keeps doing it, she "takes a break" by sitting by herself for a minute (no more than 1 minute per year of age) - where she can see us, but with no toys.  We were also told to bite her back, and it seemed so wrong to me, but I tried it when she starting hitting me really hard, and it actually seems to be working.  First I tell her "no hitting".  If she hits me again, laughing, I slap her just enough to sting a little and tell her "if you hit me, Mommy will hit you back.  Hitting hurts, no hitting."  Then I kiss her "owie" and she doesn't hit me anymore.  If she raises her hand, I reiterate, " if you hit me, I'll hit you back", and she puts her hand down.  I hate the idea of causing her pain, but I can't have her hitting the other kids at daycare, and I don't hit her very hard at all.  I think redirection with biting while playing is a good idea.


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